Gotcha Day is Finally Here!!!

Today was an amazing day. It started simple enough, with a breakfast of rice porridge, or congee and pig bone soup (not for us, but for the baby) and by mid-afternoon, we were one of several groups of parents happy and oblivious to the chaos around us.

At breakfast this morning, Mr. Zhou, our guide, informed us that our bus would be leaving for the local adoption center at 2 pm. We would be one of many families to get our babies, but not to set our expectations too high, as it would be chaotic and a hand-off with little information but a feeding and sleeping schedule.

Like most in our group, we were more than a little nervous. Would our little girl like us? Will we have bonding issues? Will she even come to us at the adoption center? We tried not to worry about these things and explore the Island that our hotel is on. I mentioned before, but the whole island is geared toward Americans adopting from China, so there are many shops with souvenirs, baby clothes and supplies, and most important to Kristi and Mimi, squeaky shoes. We went off in search of “stuff.” We went to many shops and saw all the things we expected and many other cool things. We also took a walk down to the river and saw more older people than I would expect to see on a Monday morning. They were doing Tai Chi and Kung-fu, there was a choral group practicing their music, groups playing hackey-sack (with a feathered hacky-sack. It is really cool to watch), just walking and there was even one woman practicing a routine with a sword. Thatcher said that he wished he had a sword so that he could sword fight her.

We then ate lunch at Lucy’s. It is a place that serves everything from hamburgers and steaks to spaghetti and other pasta dishes. By the time we finished lunch, it was almost time to meet the bus to go to the adoption center. Everyone was nervous--I had a headache, Kristi had a stomachache and our friend Traci kept saying she was going to throw up…and this is her third adoption. Anyway, we loaded up the bus and headed to the adoption center.

We were told to expect Chaos, and as Zhou has been doing this for 15 years, he knew that getting us there early would get us our children faster, maybe before everyone else got there. That was definitely the case.

When we entered the center, we went into the main room with lots of couches and seats. We could see, though, an adjoining room with caretakers and babies in it. Everyone kept trying to see their babies, not really knowing if they would recognize them from the few pictures they had. Then a curtain was drawn and no one could see anymore. Right after that, I saw caretakers enter and I was sure that I recognized our baby and so did Mimi. We quickly pointed her out to Kristi, and she was sure too. We thought it was her, but we knew we could be wrong. All we got was a quick glance, and it looked like she was wearing a pink bunny suit like Ralphie in “A Christmas Story.” In our nervousness, that provided material for lots of jokes while we waited. The families also took up time taking pictures of each other while we waited.

We were all waiting, and Zhou approached us first. He asked us if we were Li Hai-Fang’s parents and we said yes. From behind him came the caretakers and our Amelia Belle wearing what I had thought was a pink bunny suit (it was not). She was beautiful and while she did not reach for Kristi she did not protest when Kristi took her. All of us, Kristi, me, Thatcher and Mimi loved on her and just looked at her for the longest time. As you can imagine, it was very emotional for all of us. We took a whole lot of pictures and just soaked it all in. Meanwhile, Amelia Belle just looked at us. It looked like she was studying us and she watched Thatcher and followed him with her eyes wherever he went. But, she never cried and now, at 10pm at night she is already in bed and still has not ever cried. However, around us was a very different story.

We were told to expect chaos, and at first, I was surprised at how calm it was. However, after our five families started getting our babies, many more families started coming in and all their babies were presented. Amelia Belle was calm and went with us with no problem. That was not the case for the majority of parents and babies. Many went literally kicking and screaming to their new parents and I especially felt sorry for the parents of a few the older children. These children were between 5 and 7 years old and have known both orphanages and foster homes before being placed in their new permanent homes. Many have recently been taken out of an orphanage and placed in foster care awaiting their new parents. They have endured a lot of change in a short period. These children were understandably upset, and some of the parents did not look like they still thought this was as good of an idea as they did when they first got there. Nevertheless, the result is a much better home, life and future for these children, but it looks hard in the short-term.

Before we left, the caregivers were introduced to us through a translator. They did not have much information on her past, but they did have the “abandonment ad” that was placed in the local paper when when she was found. In addition, they had the cameras we sent in the care package, but said the clothes we sent did not fit her anymore. They also presented us with a couple of gifts: a plaque from the orphanage and a small wind chime made of seashells and told us they would see us tomorrow.

We played with Amelia Belle in the bus on the way home. She and Thatcher played peek-a-boo, she and Kristi fed each other fruit puffs, and I saw her smile for the first time. She is very pensive and was very serious at first. When we got back to the room, we played with her more. She fed Kristi and me more fruit puffs and she played with toys. The only time she got fussy was when Kristi gave her a bath. She did not cry, but fussed the whole time. She did the same when Kristi put her pajamas on her later. After a bath Kristi took the orphanage clothes off her and dressed her in the little girl clothes that she brought with us and put a bow in her hair. At this point she was presentable and ready for dinner. Also, when changing her, we freaked out a little. Her behind and lower back were black and blue. I went to find Zhou to ask him about it and he laughed at me. He said, “Don’t worry about your baby. That is just the Mongolian Spot. Every Chinese baby has that.” He said the same thing when I told him that the baby was scratching her neck and we wanted to make sure she did not have scabies. He said, “Don’t worry about your baby. She’s fine.” I guess it is funny for him to see parents with the same unfounded concerns repeatedly.

Mr. Zhou told us three things to remember: Keep the baby warm, feed the baby a lot, and let the baby get plenty of sleep. Keeping that in mind, we went to dinner. We ate Thai food and we fed Amelia Belle noodles and rice. She ate and ate and ate. Zhou said that the babies are used to eating quickly, so we should feed them that way and not dawdle. However, that is not how Amelia Belle wanted to eat. She ate a lot, but she ate very slowly, chewing very carefully. I left dinner early to meet Zhou to fill out papers and give him the wad of cash that I had been carrying around since Shreveport. What a relief. And upon signing those papers, we are now responsible for Amelia Belle’s welfare. Tomorrow morning at 8:30 am, we go to the police station to apply for her passport and start the process to be able to bring her home.

She did not cry and she went to bed very easily. I just lay her in her crib, kissed her and she just looked at me. She lay in there for a few minutes before she finally closed her eyes, but never made a sound.
It is amazing that we can love someone so much whom we have just met. She does not know us yet, although she is already going right to Kristi and showing a preference for her…but I can make her smile. She is so beautiful. Thatcher is excited and keyed up around her, and has gotten a little too “in her face” at time, but just wants to connect with her. Please keep him and me in your prayers--I need to do a better job of understanding what he is feeling right now. It was interesting to see that even he was nervous before we got the baby.

Zhou tells us that by the time we leave China, we will really see the bonding taking place. We are not doing too badly, but I want her to know that we are her parents. Today has been a big, big day and very emotional for all of us. This is the day that we have been working toward for almost three years and I thank God for it. It has been hard, and I’m sure we’ll have some struggles ahead, but this is one of those times that I can look back and be sure that God knew best when he caused some doors to be opened to us and some to be shut. Thank you, everyone, for your prayers and encouragement. We appreciate it and cannot wait to get back to the U.S. with our beautiful baby girl.