Progress!!!

Friday
As I said previously, Friday and Saturday were two more very good days for us. Firstly, we saw some cool things, and secondly, Amelia Belle opened up even a little bit more to us. She has gotten even more “spicy.” She is going to be able to hold her own against her big brother.

On Friday morning, as usual we got up for breakfast. It was nasty and rainy outside, again, but we met anyway to take the subway two stops to go to a museum. Our group took off and it was a really nice outing. The museum was a 200-year-old or so meetinghouse that was very ornately carved, now used as a place to preserve traditional forms of artworks. There were jade carvings, ivory and bone, woodcarvings, carvings of petrified wood among others. The most fascinating thing that I saw was the very ornate ivory and bone carvings. There were carvings with amazing, fine detail. There was a ball, carved out of a single piece of Ivory, with 43 separate, independently moving layers. There was a carving of a boat, made of ivory or bone that had 11 layers. You could look through the windows of the boat and see people carved on the inside. I have no idea how that is done, but it is amazing.

After the museum, we decided to eat at McDonald’s. You would not think so, but we needed help ordering at McDonald’s--it was not as intuitive as you would think. Kristi had chicken--spicy chicken wings on the bone--, which she could barely eat because they were so spicy, Thatcher had a McNugget Happy Meal with a Spider-man toy, and I had a Big Mac meal. Kristi’s was different, but mine and Thatcher’s tasted exactly like it would have in Bossier City. I picked a Big Mac because it was the only sandwich that looked like one I was familiar with. The Quarter Pounder had cucumbers and lettuce, which do not belong on the Big Mac.

The rest of the day was uneventful, except for little breakthroughs for me with Amelia Belle. We went back to the room and Amelia Belle and I took a nap, and Kristi left us after getting her to sleep. When Amelia Belle woke up, she was very reserved and looked for Kristi. However, I was able to change her diaper and she came to me after she started fussing.

We went to dinner with our friends Jackie and Keith and Tracy and Harris. It was Tracy’s birthday the day before, so she chose the Italian restaurant and we sang Happy Birthday to her over Tiramisu lit with a candle. This is the second time that we have eaten at the Italian restaurant--the food is amazing.

Next we came back to the room and played. During the day, Amelia Belle really started to show us how she can defend herself and how load she can get. When anyone touched her (Thatcher, or me mostly) or when anyone tried to take something of hers, she would get loud, pull away and yell, “BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”. She also waved her arms and even swatted us away at times. She is just a little, bitty thing, but she can be loud. I imagine these are coping or defense mechanisms that she developed in the orphanage. It is cute now, but obviously, we will have to teach her differently.

In addition, while playing at night, she once again pretended to put something on her face, as well as Kristi’s face and even mine. In addition, she did a lot of gibbering. She said, “MA, MA, MA, MA, MA!” “DA, DA, DA, DA, DA, DA!” And “BA, BA, BA, BA, BA, BA!” She does this very loudly, and repeatedly. I do not think she is saying Momma or Daddy, but there are several of the children that are calling their new parents momma and daddy already. We tried putting her in her bed tonight, but she got upset. We let her go to sleep in ours and then I moved her to hers.

Saturday
Saturday, we got up for breakfast and went down to see all the families from our original group that got their babies in other provinces. It was good to see everyone doing pretty well, although there are a few families that are having problems--some similar to ours in that the baby does not care for a parent.

After breakfast we met downstairs (was raining, now stopped. Nasty weather now, for like three days.) For a trip to the Jade market and a temple. Because our group was so big, Zhou divided us into two groups--he took the families that just got here and his assistant Jason (he was born in China and lives in Guangzhou, so I am guessing that is not what his momma named him) took us.

The jade market was unremarkable. Jade jewelry from street vendors and shops inside buildings for wholesale prices. If you do not like the price, you walk away sort t of haggling. Then we went to the Buddhist temple. Very interesting and I tried to use it as a learning experience for Thatcher. We walked around the temple and I tried to explain to him about different religions and compare it to our faith. Outside, there were vendors selling incense and a parent gave Thatcher incense to light and stick on a cart. It is used for prayers and Thatcher told me you were supposed to pray for your grandparents. Therefore, we used it as an opportunity for him and me to pray for his grandparents. We prayed to God and thanked him for Amelia Belle and thanked him and prayed for Mimi, Pawpaw John, Douda, Papa Ed, and Maw maw Glenda and Grammy.

Next, we went with our friends Cindy and Bob Stemple for lunch at Lucy’s. Kristi and I both had fried chicken, and Thatcher had spaghetti and meat sauce for about the 47th time since we have been in China. Mimi had Orange Chicken. I have not had Chinese food since we have been in Guangzhou.

After lunch, we ran into our friends from Haughton, LA Tiffany and Marty Kent. They were finishing up some paperwork in the lobby of our hotel. We got a chance to see their new little boy Kaegan--he is 2-½ and very sweet (should have named the kid Clark, though...get it? Clark Kent?). We made plans to get together later for dinner and it was off to get a nap again. Thatcher went with Mimi somewhere while Kristi got the baby to sleep. Then, while I worked to upload some video, Kristi took Thatcher to get something at Starbucks. Then Kristi had to take care of adoption paperwork downstairs.

When the baby awoke, she was ok for a few minutes--reserved and looking for Kristi. It was not long before she was fussing…very loudly. We decided to visit next door, and she went right to Kristi’s mom. She kept fussing, so I took her back and opened a can of Pringles and she got quiet to eat. She let me feed her and for the next hour she played with Thatcher, Mimi and me until Kristi got back When Kristi returned, her eyes lit up and she started laughing and carrying on. It is obvious she is connecting and probably worried at some level of being left again.

Not long after that Tiffany and Marty called from downstairs. They came upstairs and visited for a while, and then we all went to eat. We went to Lucy’s again, because the Kent’s have been far in the North of China and really needed food that was more American. Dinner was fun. We got a chance to compare notes and it was a real encouragement. I look at these beautiful kids and it breaks my heart to think about parents that could not take care of them.

Today was a big day for Amelia Belle and I (well, mostly me). She has been very playful with Kristi and Thatcher, but not so much me. Today we laughed more, she kissed me, she let me hold her at times (not for very long, and NEVER without food) and we played a lot. At bedtime, while Kristi was taking a bath, she lay next to me in bed and she repeatedly stuck her feet in my face and laughed, she put her hand out for me to kiss, and most importantly, she kept eye contact with me. Might sound ridiculous, but I am ecstatic. It was a good day.

One other funny thing that she does is she yells to get your attention. While we were playing at bedtime, she decided she had enough of me and wanted Kristi’s attention. So she started yelling for her…not words, just sounds. It is funny. In addition, we think she is pretty smart. Kristi changed her diaper tonight, and she must not have been finished. She stayed lying down in front of Kristi, and when she was finished, she started tugging on her pants, indicating to Kristi that it was time to change her again. And right before bed, she watched Kristi put cream on her face, and then acted as if she put it on herself, and acted as if she was putting lipstick on. It was funny.
This was a good day. Tomorrow we are really off to the zoo.

Hey everyone. Another couple of good days since my last entry. It is now Saturday at around 4 in the afternoon and Amelia Belle is down for a nap after an eventful morning. Between yesterday and today we have been on a museum tour, been to a Buddhist temple, the Jade market and shopping and a lot of progess. Cool stuff.

Before I forget, you can see the above video of Amelia Belle walking in saggy clothes, but there is another video to give you an idea of what it was like when we got Amelia at the adoption center--all the noise and craziness, video of her first bath and her cry/whine, as well as all of the pics at http://picasaweb.google.com/gellender03 . More details to come, but in the meantime, check it out. Go to the website and click on "Exported Videos" and you can click on whichever one you would like to watch.

Amelia Belle's Personality Comes Out More

Today was a good day. Like most days we had business to take care of, then the rest was free. We had a medical exam first, then rain the rest of the day, so pretty relaxing. The best thing about the day was that we got more of a glimpse of our baby girl's personality. While shopping one Chinese lady said she was "spicy." She should fit right in with us.



Amelia Belle woke up smiling at Thatcher. We got dressed and headed to breakfast. As usual, Amelia Belle at mostly congee (basically watery, cooked rice flavored with meat) and dim sum--a steamed bread with filling, these have peanut butter. Interesting that she is almost two and eats the food that we would feed a much younger child. We brought bottles, we were told to, to fix milk mixed with rice cereal, but she doesn't really do bottle, better with the sippy cup. And better with one with a hard top. We found this out through trial and error. She drinks more enthusiastically with the right cup. She does well with a juice box. We also discovered she really likes oranges. She is trying lots of new things, with some ill effects that manifested themselves later during dinner. More on that in a bit.



After breakfast, Kristi, Amelia Belle and I joined the other 4 families for U.S. Visa photos and the medical exam. Both went without a hitch. The medical exam was done in a Chinese community clinic that does these every week for adoptions and it is really a formality. It was interesting that the doctor, after listening to Amelia Belle's heart, asked through Zhou if it had been surgically repaired. Knowing that her condition, VSD, will often close on its own makes us very hopeful.



During the medical exam, rain started coming down. We did not have an umbrella and we were a few blocks from the hotel, so we put Amelia Belle's hood on her and ran back, ducking under awnings when we could. Many Chinese people were taking cover under the porch of the Victory Hotel's other building, and when they saw us pushing a baby, they pointed and got very animated. We could tell we were being chastised. The Chinese are very funny about these kinds of things. We were told that the baby's head and shoulders always need to be covered, no matter the weather. If not, old people will stop you and tell you to do so. We hurried past the upset people and got our baby back to the hotel. She was a little wet, but no worse for the wear.



We were going to go back into the city to shop, but because of the rain we decided to hold off. Instead, we fed the baby and put her down for a nap, and ordered a pizza from Papa John's. Meanwhile, Thatcher got an invitation to go downstairs and play with his friend Ana, another 5 year old with a family in our group.



After naps and play, the weather looked too bad to try to go into the city, so we decided to shop close to the hotel. We got lots of Chinese clothes for the baby, but I'm really getting tired of being accosted every time I ask the price of something. Every price is negotiated and these people really work hard to try to get you to buy things. As a salesperson I respect this, but it gets annoying after a few days of it.



After shopping for a while, we needed to bring the baby back to the hotel for a diaper change. During this time, the rain started again. This has been the only bad weather we have seen since we got here. We were expecting hot in Guangzhou, but it is really pretty cool. You usually need a jacket when you go outside. The weather was bad, and even though our first experience at the hotel restaurant was not very good, we decided to eat there again.



Dinner was ok, but with Amelia Belle trying new things, she had a bit of an adverse reaction. She had an explosion and Kristi had to bring her upstairs. We are having a bit of a dilemma, because we were not expecting her to be quite so skinny. She weighs 24.2 pounds and is 33.7 inches tall. We brought several 18 month old sets of clothes, which are too big, and several 24 month old, which are way too big. We had to go buy her clothes after dinner.



As I mentioned before, Amelia Belle's personality really started coming out today. She is really playful with Thatcher, but is really possessive of anything she sees as hers. This is to be expected of an institutionalized child. Also, she will get loud if you are bothering her or trying to take what is hers. Or if I try to pick her up and sometimes Mimi. She does not really get like that with Kristi. When dinner started, Kristi left to go make her some rice cereal (she loves it), and she watched Kristi go. She only calmed down a little when the waitress brought our drinks. She reached for my Diet Coke. Grasping for straws, I let her have a drink and she wanted more. I was going to try it as a bribe, then Kristi got back and I lost her attention.



During dinner, when Kristi had to change her, she was so messy she had to bathe her. The last few nights she got really withdrawn afterwards, but tonight she came around much more quickly, maybe because she came back down to dinner, not getting ready for bed.



Also, when we got back to the room, Kristi put her on the bed and I laid down next to her. Kristi was able to go into the bathroom and take a shower without Amelia Belle getting too upset. She would not look at me, but she lay next to me and I talked to her while Kristi showered.



When Kristi returned, we played some more before bed. She watched Kristi put something on her face, and using a toy, she touched the toy and wiped her face with her hand, imitating Kristi. We laughed about that, then Amelia Belle spontaneously reached out and touched my face. Kristi then touched my face and Amelia Belle did it a few more times. Might not seem like much, but it made my night. When it got time for bed, she fussed a little, but she got calm very quickly. We checked on her and kissed her in her crib. It was a good day and hopefully tomorrow we will have more progress. We go to the zoo and ride the subway. Just a relaxing day of sightseeing before the rest of our group arrives and there are too many of us to do group activities.

--Gene

Days 2 and 3 with our Mei Mei (Little Sister)

Tuesday

It has been a couple of days, but as you can imagine we have been busy since getting our new “precious soul.” On both days, there was business to take care of, but also some sightseeing. Best of all, Amelia Belle has opened up a little and we are seeing more of her personality. In addition, we have had a lot of questions about her from friends-- how she is acting and becoming accustomed to us. Therefore, I will try to shed some light on that as well.

On Monday after we got Amelia, she was very reserved. She watched everything and was very observant of us and everything around us. Even when eating she did not open her mouth very wide and ate very slowly and deliberately. She came right to us and did not seem upset at all until bath time. Maybe in shock.

That night, after bath and dinner, Amelia Belle played a little with all of us and then went to bed very easily. I put her down in her bed and she went right to sleep. She slept through most of the night until five but then she woke up fussy. Kristi put her in bed with us and she went back to sleep until past seven. When she awoke, she was a little different than the night before. She looked a little disoriented and still pretty reserved. We had to go back to the adoption center to sign papers, so Kristi, Amelia Belle and I loaded up to go.

When we got there, the caretakers where back. They were very nice to us and the woman (two men and a woman) was very affectionate toward Amelia Belle. Amelia Belle reached for her and she held the baby for a minute. When it was time to give her back, the woman did and Amelia Belle went right back to Kristi. Talking afterward, we were both a little nervous about that, but no worries. Then we had to wait to see the notary. During this time, I was holding Amelia Belle. I wanted a change of scenery so I walked down the hall and she started fussing. Loudly. She has not let me hold her since. More about that later, though. We spent a while at the Adoption Center, but actually only a total of 5 minutes in an interview (do you love this baby? Will you abandon? Will you abuse?, etc.) and with the notary. Now Amelia Belle is ours.

We went back to the hotel and while the baby took a nap, Thatcher and I went to the cleaners (easy and cheap), the bank (long wait and paperwork just to exchange money), down to the river and to get lunch. The most interesting part was going down to the river. I mentioned before that the riverside is full of mature adults engaged in different activities. Most of them are playing with a “hackey sack.” They kick around this plastic, metal and feather object. I bought one for Thatcher and we began to play. In no time, we had fifteen older Chinese people around us laughing and cheering Thatcher on. They gave Thatcher some pointers, one let us use is better “hackey sack”, and some even played with us. It was a lot of fun. Next, we went to Lucy’s to pick up a light lunch. French fries and onion rings for the adults, sweet and sour chicken for Thatcher and mashed potatoes for the baby.

We got back just as the baby was waking up. I had been trying to bribe her with food since she decided she did not like me, so I kept trying to feed her. She is really skinny, but not malnourished. And she ate as if she had not eaten in a week. She ate three big bowls of noodles, mashed potatoes and rice. We did not think she was going to quit. Mr. Zhou says do not worry about the schedule, just remember three things: 1. Feed the baby. Chinese babies will eat more than us. 2. Baby needs lots of sleep 3. Keep baby warm. Makes sense.

Next, we met everyone down in the lobby for shopping. We had babies in strollers, the two five year olds in tow (Thatcher and Ana) and we followed Zhou through an open air market to the pearl market and the mall. Finally dinner at Papa Johns. Take a look at the pictures---we saw dried up snakes, lizards, scorpions and caterpillars and more in the open-air market as well as all kinds of goods. We spent the majority of the time in the pearl market and all of the ladies made out like bandits because of the deep discounts that Zhou negotiated for us. In addition, we went to a big department/grocery store to get baby stuff and we were able to get Thatcher a pair of tennis shoes. Somehow, we forgot his at home and he had been wearing Crocs the whole time--even climbing the great wall. Lastly, we ate dinner at Papa John’s Pizza. The babies were all pretty tired, and I kept trying to feed Amelia Belle and win her over. No luck. She got upset when I pushed her stroller, too.

When we got back to the room, Amelia Belle again got upset at bath time. I am sure she has never sat in 3 inches of water before…probably just sponge baths. She does not cry; she just makes a pitiful whine. It does get louder the more upset she gets. After bath, it was time to feed her again. Man, does that kid eat a lot. She had a bottle and a bowl of rice cereal. I fed her some more, but it we gave her the spoon, watched her, and taught her to feed herself. I do not know if she has ever fed herself before, either. She looks like she will get the hang of it quickly. When it came time for bed, she got upset again. Kristi lay down with her, then when she calmed down put her in her own bed. She was quiet, so Kristi took the opportunity to take a shower. The quiet did not last long. Amelia Belle started fussing again and when it got loud, I thought this might be my chance to pick her up, comfort her, and win her over. Wrong again. When I picked her up, the fussing turned into a high-pitched scream. Not good. Kristi got out of the shower just in the nick of time and Amelia Belle calmed down pretty quickly. Kristi got her to sleep around 8pm and put her in her bed. She slept soundly until past 8am.

Wednesday

We have all been waking up early. Most mornings Thatcher knocks on our door at 6 or 6:30 am. Wednesday morning was no different. I woke up early, expecting Amelia Belle to wake up fussing again. She did not, but I did hear her talking in her sleep and even humming. Our first reports about her said that she likes to sing, and it was beautiful to hear. Up to this point, we had not heard her say much, either. It was nice to hear her voice.

We all got moving and got dressed. Amelia Belle woke up very calmly and was again a little disoriented. This did not last long, though. At breakfast, she and Thatcher started playing. She acted like she wanted to give Thatcher a tissue and when he would reach for it, she would pull it away. She got loud; she opened her mouth very wide and let him know she was not giving it up. She also laughed a lot. One of my favorite sounds is Thatcher’s laugh and it was wonderful to hear hers, too. It was even better to seen them having fun, but we did have to remind him to be gentle, not to startle her and to not get too “in her face.” He is having to adjust to not being the center of attention, so it is a big change for him as well.

Kristi, Amelia Belle and I had an appointment at 2:30 to go to the police station. Before we left, we wanted to take a walk and we needed Zhou to help us at the pharmacy. Amelia Belle has a runny nose, is congested and coughing. At the pharmacy, I asked some questions about medications. They didn‘t know what Nexium was and the only AZ product I saw I had not heard of. It was before my time.

Next, we went to the park. We did a lot there. Thatcher, Mimi and I played hackey sack, Thatcher played with some other kids and Amelia walked (very unsteadily) around. Then we brought Amelia Belle back to the room for some lunch of a bottle and rice cereal. Yum. But she loves it. You should see what the orphanage told us she eats.

Next, we returned to the hotel room. Kristi put the baby down for a nap, left her and Thatcher with me and she and Mimi went out to go the grocery store. I told her to hurry, because the baby still did not like me. I did not want to think about what that was going to look like if Amelia Belle woke up before Kristi got back. While they were gone, Thatcher tried his best to sneakily wake the baby by squeaking her shoes, trying to take a nap snuggled up close to her and by just being too noisy in general. Nevertheless, she stayed asleep. In addition, I spent some time getting pictures uploaded. Take a look at the slideshows. That’s what I did.

Next, all the parents and babies loaded up in a van to head to the police station. We had to go there to apply for the baby’s Chinese passport. The trip took a about an hour, but only about three minutes in front of a police officer. In the lobby, though, I got in trouble for taking a picture. Upstairs while sitting with the officer, he instructed a guard to find whomever was taking pictures in that waiting room. Apparently, that is a no-no at the Po-Po in China. We were one of the many families “at the precinct” today. It was a madhouse.

When we got back, I tried to bribe the baby some more with treats. She let me feed her and even colored with me. But only as long as Kristi is very close. She came from the orphanage with a ball and I tried playing with her. When I rolled the ball to her, she picked it up and handed it to Kristi. Kristi rolled it to me, I rolled it to Amelia Belle and she gave it to Kristi, repeatedly. Same thing with crayons. She will take them from me, but not give them back to me, only to Kristi. We played some more and then we got Thatcher and Mimi from next door to go shopping and to dinner.

We went shopping and got some paintings and a quilt for Amelia Belle’s wall. Hand made and very inexpensive. Then we walked to the end of the Island to eat at an Italian restaurant. It was very good and we will definitely eat there again.

Back in the room, once again, Amelia Belle got upset when bathwater was drawn and clothes taken off. She fussed and Kristi was able to calm her down, but after we fed her, she again became very reserved. I tried to feed her and she would not look at me or take a bite. She would only eat from Kristi, but still she was very reserved. I know these are all coping mechanisms. Sad, but fascinating to watch. I understand, but I do not like it a bit.

Bedtime was different tonight. Amelia Belle was in our bed with Kristi beside her and I was with them, too. Amelia Belle was not fussing, but was very fidgety. She was scratching herself (her neck has been itchy since we got her. No scabies or lice.), rubbing her head and eyes and pulling on the neck and the bottom of her pajama shirt. So fidgety that she wouldn’t go to sleep. So Kristi put her in her own bed and she went right to sleep. Easy.

Right now I am listening to her sleep and every once in a while she will hum. It is a sweet sound. So is her laugh. I want to hold her and hug her but she will not let me, yet. I know some of it might be coping. I know that some of it might be that she has not been around men much. I know all that, and I know that it will not be like this forever, but I do not like it. But I do like her. It is interesting to see the way she tunes me out. She will turn to Kristi when Kristi speaks to her, but she will deliberately avoid eye contact and make herself oblivious to me. I noticed after she got upset at bath time, she put her head down and did not make eye contact with either of us.

When Thatcher was born, I fell in love with him the day I saw him for the first time. Kristi carried him for nine months, and I guess I thought that might have something to do with it. But I fell in love with Amelia Belle the moment I saw her, too. A good friend has two sons, one adopted, and he told me from the beginning that it would not make a difference and he was right. Pretty cool. I have tried dolls, candy, food and toys. I will keep trying until we connect.

A few observations about her: She is tall and skinny. She is 22 months old on March 16 and her 18 month pants fall off her. I weighed her, she weighs 22 pounds, and she likes squeaky shoes. She is very unsteady and walks with a very wide, teetering gait and it is funny to watch. She is reserved, but can get pretty loud when you try to take what (she thinks) is hers. Kristi thinks she is mischievous and her laugh is funny. We have not head her speak, but she recognizes “more” (opens her mouth) and will wave when you say “bye-bye. “ When she opens up, she can be very expressive and she has a smirk that is the beginning of a smile that you can see in many of the pictures. She will do something, fall, hear something and look at Kristi with really big eyes. It always makes us laugh. A lot of the time she looks at Thatcher with curiosity, but she laughs at him, too. She does not like her hands to be dirty and she uses a tissue or wipe to wipe everything down as she's eating.

It is amazing to see how she has connected to Kristi. Kristi is her momma and it is obvious. She wants to be held by Kristi, she wants to be near Kristi and she wants Kristi’s attention. When she wants Kristi’s attention, she will grunt and she will “check-in” with Kristi by looking at her to gauge the situation. Amelia Belle also likes Norma (Mimi). Many of the orphanages have programs where grandmothers come in and rock the babies. Even though several of the Chinese shopkeepers have commented on Mimi being a very young grandmother, maybe this is why Amelia Belle reaches for her, too. It is a very good sign to see Amelia Belle bonding with Kristi. When anyone holds her, in a very short time she wants Kristi again. When Kristi walks away from her, she watches her or watches for her until Kristi returns and gets really happy when she does. Good stuff.

Lastly, I want to talk about my first “precious soul,” my baby boy Thatcher. He is being a trooper and handling this well on many different levels. First, he endured more than a day on planes to get here, lots of adult oriented sightseeing, climbed the Great Wall, sat through Jade, Pearl and Cloisonné factory tours, lots of time on a bus AND getting a new baby sister. Any only child’s world is turned upside down when another child is thrown into the mix and Thatcher is no exception. He really enjoys being the center of our universe, but he is handling it pretty well. We have had our moments, though. He has talked like a baby, got in her baby bed, tries to ride in her stroller, complains that I want to sit by her (“You just want to sit by her because you love her.”) and always wants to be carried. However, for the most part he is being sweet to her--when he is not taking something of hers to make her get upset because he thinks it is funny--and wants to love her and have her attention like the rest of us. I love that kid. He is so sweet.

Several of you have shared problems with posting. Create a Google account. It is free, then you can post--it is that easy. Thanks for your comments and encouragement.

Anyway, keep us in your prayers. We have now been gone for 8 days and will be here for nine more. We are having fun. Still lots to look forward to so I am not missing home too much. Yet. Well, Mexican food would be nice. We love everyone and appreciate the prayers, encouragement and comments. Stay tuned.

Gotcha Day is Finally Here!!!

Today was an amazing day. It started simple enough, with a breakfast of rice porridge, or congee and pig bone soup (not for us, but for the baby) and by mid-afternoon, we were one of several groups of parents happy and oblivious to the chaos around us.

At breakfast this morning, Mr. Zhou, our guide, informed us that our bus would be leaving for the local adoption center at 2 pm. We would be one of many families to get our babies, but not to set our expectations too high, as it would be chaotic and a hand-off with little information but a feeding and sleeping schedule.

Like most in our group, we were more than a little nervous. Would our little girl like us? Will we have bonding issues? Will she even come to us at the adoption center? We tried not to worry about these things and explore the Island that our hotel is on. I mentioned before, but the whole island is geared toward Americans adopting from China, so there are many shops with souvenirs, baby clothes and supplies, and most important to Kristi and Mimi, squeaky shoes. We went off in search of “stuff.” We went to many shops and saw all the things we expected and many other cool things. We also took a walk down to the river and saw more older people than I would expect to see on a Monday morning. They were doing Tai Chi and Kung-fu, there was a choral group practicing their music, groups playing hackey-sack (with a feathered hacky-sack. It is really cool to watch), just walking and there was even one woman practicing a routine with a sword. Thatcher said that he wished he had a sword so that he could sword fight her.

We then ate lunch at Lucy’s. It is a place that serves everything from hamburgers and steaks to spaghetti and other pasta dishes. By the time we finished lunch, it was almost time to meet the bus to go to the adoption center. Everyone was nervous--I had a headache, Kristi had a stomachache and our friend Traci kept saying she was going to throw up…and this is her third adoption. Anyway, we loaded up the bus and headed to the adoption center.

We were told to expect Chaos, and as Zhou has been doing this for 15 years, he knew that getting us there early would get us our children faster, maybe before everyone else got there. That was definitely the case.

When we entered the center, we went into the main room with lots of couches and seats. We could see, though, an adjoining room with caretakers and babies in it. Everyone kept trying to see their babies, not really knowing if they would recognize them from the few pictures they had. Then a curtain was drawn and no one could see anymore. Right after that, I saw caretakers enter and I was sure that I recognized our baby and so did Mimi. We quickly pointed her out to Kristi, and she was sure too. We thought it was her, but we knew we could be wrong. All we got was a quick glance, and it looked like she was wearing a pink bunny suit like Ralphie in “A Christmas Story.” In our nervousness, that provided material for lots of jokes while we waited. The families also took up time taking pictures of each other while we waited.

We were all waiting, and Zhou approached us first. He asked us if we were Li Hai-Fang’s parents and we said yes. From behind him came the caretakers and our Amelia Belle wearing what I had thought was a pink bunny suit (it was not). She was beautiful and while she did not reach for Kristi she did not protest when Kristi took her. All of us, Kristi, me, Thatcher and Mimi loved on her and just looked at her for the longest time. As you can imagine, it was very emotional for all of us. We took a whole lot of pictures and just soaked it all in. Meanwhile, Amelia Belle just looked at us. It looked like she was studying us and she watched Thatcher and followed him with her eyes wherever he went. But, she never cried and now, at 10pm at night she is already in bed and still has not ever cried. However, around us was a very different story.

We were told to expect chaos, and at first, I was surprised at how calm it was. However, after our five families started getting our babies, many more families started coming in and all their babies were presented. Amelia Belle was calm and went with us with no problem. That was not the case for the majority of parents and babies. Many went literally kicking and screaming to their new parents and I especially felt sorry for the parents of a few the older children. These children were between 5 and 7 years old and have known both orphanages and foster homes before being placed in their new permanent homes. Many have recently been taken out of an orphanage and placed in foster care awaiting their new parents. They have endured a lot of change in a short period. These children were understandably upset, and some of the parents did not look like they still thought this was as good of an idea as they did when they first got there. Nevertheless, the result is a much better home, life and future for these children, but it looks hard in the short-term.

Before we left, the caregivers were introduced to us through a translator. They did not have much information on her past, but they did have the “abandonment ad” that was placed in the local paper when when she was found. In addition, they had the cameras we sent in the care package, but said the clothes we sent did not fit her anymore. They also presented us with a couple of gifts: a plaque from the orphanage and a small wind chime made of seashells and told us they would see us tomorrow.

We played with Amelia Belle in the bus on the way home. She and Thatcher played peek-a-boo, she and Kristi fed each other fruit puffs, and I saw her smile for the first time. She is very pensive and was very serious at first. When we got back to the room, we played with her more. She fed Kristi and me more fruit puffs and she played with toys. The only time she got fussy was when Kristi gave her a bath. She did not cry, but fussed the whole time. She did the same when Kristi put her pajamas on her later. After a bath Kristi took the orphanage clothes off her and dressed her in the little girl clothes that she brought with us and put a bow in her hair. At this point she was presentable and ready for dinner. Also, when changing her, we freaked out a little. Her behind and lower back were black and blue. I went to find Zhou to ask him about it and he laughed at me. He said, “Don’t worry about your baby. That is just the Mongolian Spot. Every Chinese baby has that.” He said the same thing when I told him that the baby was scratching her neck and we wanted to make sure she did not have scabies. He said, “Don’t worry about your baby. She’s fine.” I guess it is funny for him to see parents with the same unfounded concerns repeatedly.

Mr. Zhou told us three things to remember: Keep the baby warm, feed the baby a lot, and let the baby get plenty of sleep. Keeping that in mind, we went to dinner. We ate Thai food and we fed Amelia Belle noodles and rice. She ate and ate and ate. Zhou said that the babies are used to eating quickly, so we should feed them that way and not dawdle. However, that is not how Amelia Belle wanted to eat. She ate a lot, but she ate very slowly, chewing very carefully. I left dinner early to meet Zhou to fill out papers and give him the wad of cash that I had been carrying around since Shreveport. What a relief. And upon signing those papers, we are now responsible for Amelia Belle’s welfare. Tomorrow morning at 8:30 am, we go to the police station to apply for her passport and start the process to be able to bring her home.

She did not cry and she went to bed very easily. I just lay her in her crib, kissed her and she just looked at me. She lay in there for a few minutes before she finally closed her eyes, but never made a sound.
It is amazing that we can love someone so much whom we have just met. She does not know us yet, although she is already going right to Kristi and showing a preference for her…but I can make her smile. She is so beautiful. Thatcher is excited and keyed up around her, and has gotten a little too “in her face” at time, but just wants to connect with her. Please keep him and me in your prayers--I need to do a better job of understanding what he is feeling right now. It was interesting to see that even he was nervous before we got the baby.

Zhou tells us that by the time we leave China, we will really see the bonding taking place. We are not doing too badly, but I want her to know that we are her parents. Today has been a big, big day and very emotional for all of us. This is the day that we have been working toward for almost three years and I thank God for it. It has been hard, and I’m sure we’ll have some struggles ahead, but this is one of those times that I can look back and be sure that God knew best when he caused some doors to be opened to us and some to be shut. Thank you, everyone, for your prayers and encouragement. We appreciate it and cannot wait to get back to the U.S. with our beautiful baby girl.

Just how bad is your day, really?

If you think you're having a bad day, at least your not eating any of the things that I saw at the seafood market today in Guangzhou--Geoduck (?), Sandworms or water beetles. And you probably don't have to take care of your business the way the Chinese do. Thatcher always seems to have to go during the most inappropriate times and there are precious few "American" toilets. Fortunately, he has learned how to hold it.

Yesterday was another exciting day. But first, you might be asking yourself “why all the sightseeing? Why don’t they just get the baby and come home?” Our agency is amazing, and the way they planned things out makes sense. There are a few reasons for coming a few days early. 1) It gives us a chance to get acclimated to the time difference. After four days, we are doing better, but we cannot seem to stay up later than 9pm and we wake up before 6am. Maybe it helps us get acclimated to Chinese culture, as well. 2) We are here with 11 other families, and we will more or less be together for more than two weeks. It allows us a chance to get to know each other before we all get our babies. All or most of the families come to Beijing, spend a few days together, disperse to get our babies all over the country, then meet up again in Guangzhou to finish up the adoption process at the American Embassy. 3) Lastly, we are told that it is ridiculous to come halfway around the world and not see the obligatory sights--the Great Wall, Forbidden City, Tieneman Square, etc. So EACI, our agency, arranges it so we see all of the sights.

We started the day again with breakfast, then departed for the Great Wall. The Great Wall was about a 90-minute drive by bus, but first we stopped at a Jade factory. We saw how the jade is made, and shown how to distinguish between different qualities of jade. The factory had a huge showroom and Kristi and Mimi were sucked in by the salespeople showing them bangle bracelets. I saw the prices, and knew that as they were looking, they were not considering the conversion rate. The bracelets were beautiful, but very expensive--a little above our standard of living. Anyway, when the salespeople pulled out the calculator, I laughed as they both changed their minds. In the end, they each did end up buying some small jade items.

Next, we went to the Great Wall. It was an amazing sight. The wall was on both sides of the road, and Zhou explained to us that if we climbed one side, it would take us all day. He suggested we try the other, as it was not as high and we needed to be on the bus in an hour. Mimi decided to stay with some others at the bus--there were some shops to keep them busy, and Kristi, Thatcher and I joined some of our group to climb the wall.

We started the climb and it seemed like there were a million steps. We climbed, and climbed and climbed steps and we each peeled off our jackets early in. The view was amazing and while it was hard, we had fun and joked the whole time. Thatcher was a trooper. Except for one set of steps where I carried him on my back (I thought I was going to keel over!), he climbed the entire thing himself. Then when we got to the bottom, I needed an “I climbed the Great Wall shirt,” so we went to the shops.

There were about 10 or 12 booths filled with t-shirts, sweatshirts, silk kimonos and junk. When I went to the first one, I was offered a shirt for 180 Yuan ($27). I thought that was a bit expensive, and wanted to look at the next booth. When I tried to leave she began to shout at me, “Hello! Hello! OK! OK! Cheaper! Cheaper!” She even grabbed hold of my jacket. It was bizarre. As it was, I bought the same shirt a few booths down for 25 Yuan (a little more than $3). By the time I left I had several booth people shouting at me to get my attention. I don't really care for that.

Next, we went to a Cloisonné factory. These are objects--from vases to jewelry to trinkets--made of copper and using a tedious process painted with enamel and polished beautifully. We took a short tour and ate lunch in a restaurant on the second floor of the showroom. The meal was really good and consisted of several dishes including soup, rice, spring rolls, some kind of fried seafood and meat and chicken dishes. It was similar to food at a Chinese restaurant in the U.S. After lunch, we were able to shop a little at the factory before departing for our next destination.

Next, we went to the Olympic Stadium. We walked around it and through it. It is massive and a very interesting design. As we passed through the Olympic facilities, it seemed as if most were unused now. Beijing has to be using these facilities for something, but if not it seems like a waste. I do know that some of the facilities will be used at the upcoming Paralympics games.

As usual, we were running behind schedule, and we had some of our group that was lagging behind. Zhou went back to get the stragglers as we headed for the bus. When everyone was on board, we departed for our final destination of the day, the acrobatic show.

The acrobatic show was very interesting. We were late, but it seems once again that Zhou is important enough that the show waited for us to arrive before it started. It was held in an auditorium a little larger than a large movie theater, complete with a balcony and Joe had seats for us on the front row. There was lots of jumping, balancing, plate spinning and other feats of daring and everyone enjoyed it.

We returned to the hotel at about 7pm local time and after putting our things in our room, we met our friends Traci and Harris from Alabama and Cindy and Bob from Michigan and all went around the corner to Pizza Hut. We needed some American food. The pizza was really good, but the restaurant was blistering hot. In addition, because we had instructed us not to drink fountain drinks (because of the water) I had to run out and buy a couple of Cokes at the newsstand outside. Oh and for the second night in a row, Thatcher fell asleep before we got dinner. He has not quite adjusted to the time change perfectly. After dinner, we returned to the hotel for bed. Sunday we were leaving Beijing for Guangzhou.

Today, Sunday, we woke up, packed and went to breakfast. Not a very eventful day, except that everyone in our group was flying out to the cities where they would pick up their babies. We and four other families were traveling to Guangzhou to get our babies, and everyone else is coming there to meet us later. Zhou herded us all on the bus and got us to the airport and on our planes. The flight was uneventful except for Kristi spilling a Sprite in my lap. Really.

The Island in Guangzhou where our hotel, The Victory Hotel, is located is geared towards adopting families. The American Consulate is on the island from the beginning it was very evident that many Americans come through here adopting. When we checked into our room, we were first amazed at the size, but then impressed at the amenities. Our room was already equipped with a stroller, a crib and a baby bathtub. Then when we Kristi and I walked around the block we saw all of the shops with baby supplies like diapers and bottles, but also clothes. Kristi has talked about "squeaky shoes" since she found out about us coming and she has already found them. In addition, The Victory Hotel is much more convenient to shopping and a variety of restaurants than our previous one. There is a Subway and a Starbucks right on our block.

We ate dinner in the hotel with our Alabama and Michigan friends, Thatcher again fell asleep before dinner, and I had to carry him up to his room. While the hotel is nice, we were not very impressed with the menu or food. I had fried fish and could not eat it. My crinkle-cut fries were fine, though. Kristi and Norma had fried chicken wings and they were ok. Mostly we sat around, joked, and talked about getting our babies.

I have not talked too much about getting babies, because it has just all seemed a little surreal, but tomorrow is the big day. We will go with our five families and probably many more to the adoption center. The caregivers will bring our babies from the orphanages in the country and give them to us. The caregivers might give us a little information and maybe a written feeding schedule, but not much else. We have been told to expect our babies to be stressed and maybe unhappy, but Zhou tells us that in just a few days our babies, if brought back to the orphanages, will not want to leave us. I hope so. Kristi and I are both a little nervous. She gave me a book called “Parenting the Internationally Adopted Child” a little while ago and it scared me. We have already done much and I am sure will do a lot more praying, but I think that if we concentrating on loving her we will be all right. I cannot wait to meet our daughter tomorrow. Thatcher is excited as well, but I do not think that he realizes just how much his world is going to change.